In today’s episode, Drs. Lisa Dieker and Rebecca Hines talk with Dr. Viki Kelchner who has a background in counseling for underserved families. Tune in as she highlights the importance of having a counselor in your interdisciplinary team.
In today’s episode, Drs. Lisa Dieker and Rebecca Hines talk with Dr. Viki Kelchner who has a background in counseling for underserved families. Tune in as she highlights the importance of having a counselor in your interdisciplinary team.
Welcome to practical access. I'm Lisa Dieker.
Rebecca Hines:And I'm Rebecca Hines. And today, Lisa, I know we have a guest who again, brings to the discussion, multiple perspectives. So who are we talking to today?
Lisa Dieker:So we are super excited to have a colleague and guess what a friend. It's been a thing this season, who is an expert at from the University of Central Florida in families, being a mom herself. Children and and counseling. So we're so happy to have you, Dr. Kelchner, we'd love for you to just give us a quick little interview or interview introduction of who you are today to get us
Viki Kelchner:Thank you for having me. So my name is Viki Kelchner, which they already said. And my area is families and working with a lot, often families that are underserved, and how to support those systems and working with school systems and how to support families. And that's, and I'm a mom, myself to three little ones. And again, I'm just happy to be here
Rebecca Hines:today. So So Viki, I know that you know, we we've all actually collaborated on tons of community things and family things. So and I know professionally from the field of counseling, you have a bird's eye view about the real needs of parents and families and kids with disabilities. What do you see? What would you say is the greatest universal need that you see across disabilities?
Viki Kelchner:Well, I think universally, parents just need to give themselves space to make mistakes. And that it's okay, just to take a step back and breathe, and know that you're not always going to be the perfect parent.
Rebecca Hines:And what do you think about you know, so I think that's a really good point. What do you think teachers need to know about parents?
Viki Kelchner:Well, I think and I've been on that side, so I have taught and I've been in public schools, and I think that often, teachers, just like parents, too, maybe they forget, the parents often are doing the best that they can do. And in their fatigue, they're anxious, they're tired, and maybe their response in exactly the way that they meant for their response to be with teachers. So
Lisa Dieker:one of the things, Viki that I just so appreciate about you is you are a mom with your plate, very full, three beautiful children. And yet one of the things that I think a lot of families really just like their plate gets fuller and fuller. At what point? Do you as a counselor, say you know what, it's okay. To not only admit you made a mistake, but you might need more help. You might need some counseling, you might need some tutors. How do we as parents do a better job of knowing when we've kind of reached that
Viki Kelchner:So I think reaching that point for everybody is a little bit different. But one thing I would say is, if you feel like you're doing absolutely nothing, well, you might need just to step back for a minute, or you feel like you're ruminating constantly. So you're completely thinking about everything all the time, you need to say, Okay, I need to step back for a minute because we
Lisa Dieker:Got it? All right. What is my first step in finding that help in whatever community? Let's say I'm in a rural community, I'm in an urban community. There's not a lot of resources, I don't have a lot of money, where were Where can I start?
Viki Kelchner:So I think particularly in rural communities, one of the first places to start might be if you have children, obviously, we're mainly talking about people with children, I would think, right,
Lisa Dieker:and disabilities even Yeah,
Trey Vasquez:right. Which is that's a whole nother kind of adventure, right? I think the school counselor could be a first a good first step because the school counselor probably is connected to other professionals in the area. So that would be the first step. The social worker also could be a good resource, and then community. Other parents are phenomenal resources. So you could put that out
Rebecca Hines:Well, I'm so glad that you opened the door.
Viki Kelchner:So, I'm glad, I don't know if I'm glad
Lisa Dieker:these things are becoming,
Rebecca Hines:you know, I like to argue, I'm going to just represent for a second some traditional experiences with school counselors, okay. So like, honestly, just as a parent, and as somebody who's been in the profession of education for a long time, you know, a lot of us have seen school counselors start to be a little bit pigeon holed into this role of a scheduler, you know, and so, it seems
Viki Kelchner:Well, so I think that's really important. And I think as a profession, we're always striving for that as school counselors, for us to really be doing what we're supposed to be doing. And that's not just scheduling, that's meeting the mental health needs of not only the students that we serve, but all those systems that serve that student and those families. So I think that shift
Rebecca Hines:Yeah, I think that's, I think, I think it is a real need, you know, for for kids of all types. Um, so I know some of our colleagues in different therapies, PT, it's, etc. And some of our guests, even the season, have talked about telehealth. And I'm just curious if you think that there's a telehealth role in the future for school counselors.
Viki Kelchner:You mean, like going into family systems and working or telehealth, just,
Rebecca Hines:you know, that that idea of people being able to act as true counselors, you know, and provide some, some support for the emotional well being of students and families? You know, what do you do you see there being more, more focused remotely, in the future?
Viki Kelchner:I do, I think especially because of what we're seeing right now, I think this is exciting, because it's opening doors that maybe have been really sealed shut. So opening those doors, to think out of the box be more creative to meet the mental health needs of people that we serve. So I think we definitely might see a shift. I know, even within my own family, our school counselor was
Lisa Dieker:So I have I have a different kind of a family question. And again, because I know that's your expertise. And so I think, you know, I'm the sibling of a person who had a disability that, you know, had some major impacts reason I'm a special ed diehard don't dare think it could can't have the same opportunities as everyone else, and then my own son, but I'm curious, my son was an only
Viki Kelchner:So I think one thing that we can never discount is the siblings that are in that family structure. They worry, you know, I think that they worry more than we think kids really absorb everything that's going on. And regardless if we're verbalizing something, they're picking up that energy or middle brain section that is shooting different signals to them. So I think siblings worry I'll see in those families, they the siblings always fight for the underdog, which I think is great. We need more people like that in society that are advocates and fight for the underdog. Did that answer your question? Lisa? It
Lisa Dieker:is a it's a perfect segue to the quick follow up I have there is in it. When you do counseling with families, do you see things that maybe counselors most often might do to help those siblings with the worry, the stress? What is that classroom teacher that says, Well, this child doesn't have a disability, but they have a sibling with a disability? How? What are some things teachers
Viki Kelchner:So I think the best thing that teachers can do in those environments is create a safe environment for people to be be vulnerable and have open dialogue about it, and embrace diversity, no matter what that diversity looks like in that classroom and outside of that classroom. So I think that creates a safe space where they can process some of that and talk about
Rebecca Hines:it. So Viki, as we as we start to close our conversation, for those parents, you know, you did a great job of describing how they need to step back, you know, and and it's almost the, you know, put on your own mask before you put on your child's playing philosophy. So my child's entering school, and I'm already overwhelmed, and I'm frustrated, you know, just because this isn't how
Viki Kelchner:What's my approach? Well, first of all, I really hope that the school counselor creates a setting where parents feel like they can approach the school counselor, in a school counselor sit on the IEP teams, and often there can be some heated moments within IEP teams that I think really cause us some fractures and relationships. So I just want to kind of preface that with that. But
Lisa Dieker:Viki, that's an interesting segue because I still remember the very first counselor I met when I moved to where I am now. And I said, My son has Tourette's and they said, Well, what is that? And and I immediately thought, okay, I can't blame you because nobody taught you that but now it becomes my job. And I do I do know that you believe in I believe we all believe that parents are
Viki Kelchner:So stop and help yourself in the moment?
Lisa Dieker:Yes,
Viki Kelchner:say take five very deep breaths, about 1500, maybe 200. But let's just go with five for the sake of our time, right. So just take some deep breaths and realize this is just one little moment in the big scheme of things. And that's hard to do. Because when you're in that moment, your breathing is definitely shallow, so the blood isn't flowing to your head. So you're not thinking as
Lisa Dieker:And for the parent to asking you that question made me breathe deeply. I take a deep breath just thinking about it. So again, we know those emotions go long and hard. So thank you. Thank you for your advice. Well, we thank you so much for joining us today. Some really fabulous practical advice for families and for teachers. And we so appreciate you and all you do in our community. folks have questions for us, please send them to on our Facebook page at practical access or send us a Tweet @accesspractical. Again. Thank you so much, Dr. Keltner, for joining us today.
Viki Kelchner:Well, thank you. I want to leave by saying one thing. I tell my students this, I say you know, no parent wakes up in the morning and says today I'm going to be the crappiest parent I can be so just remember that. Thank you guys. Have a great afternoon,
Lisa Dieker:You too thanks