Practical Access Podcast

S3 E6: The Job of a Life Coach with Mr. Mark Jacobs

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"If you don't have a plan, you don't know where you're going."  In today's episode, Drs. Rebecca Hines and Lisa Dieker sit down with Life Coach, Mr. Mark Jacobs. Tune in as he provides us with practical tips that show us the importance of making sure that we all have a roadmap in life. 

Lisa Dieker:

Welcome to practical access. I'm Lisa Dieker.

Rebecca Hines:

And I'm Rebecca Hines. And Lisa, I know you're particularly excited about today's guest someone that you've known a while. Mark Jacob is joining us. He has 40 years experience working with kids in the last 10. He has been working as a life coach. He's currently with community partnership. But what do we want to know from Mark today, Lisa?

Lisa Dieker:

So Mark, thanks a lot, first of all, for joining us. We're so excited. You're here. And I'm just going to start with a question everybody asked me when I say the bit best thing that happened in my own son's life was a life coach happened to be you. But everybody says, What's a life coach? So can you give us an A why somebody might want a life coach?

Mark Jacobs:

Well, basically, life coaching is just really helping somebody develop a life plan. Because if we don't have a plan, we don't know where we're going. And that's an analogy I use a lot with kids. If I actually had to go to Denver, what's one of the first things I'm going to Google map it? Well, yeah, why? Cuz you need to know how to do that same thing in life if you don't have a

Lisa Dieker:

So you've been life coaching for over a decade, and you've had a lot of experience, I know you lived in a foster home with multiple children, you've just had a lot of experience, what is the one thing that you find as a coach, or in your work with kids with disabilities, that you wish families really thought about? to help them make that plan better, smoother transitions in life, what

Mark Jacobs:

Well, I think a lot of it is communication, by not telling your child what they're going, but really asking them if they're not, then start helping them because a lot of it is skill development. And that's when I talked to him all about, you know, and a lot of times, unfortunately, sometimes parents don't have those skills. But that's really the biggest thing is communication and

Rebecca Hines:

You know, Mark, I, my background is in working with kids with emotion on behavioral disorders and a lot of what you're saying feels like some of the kinds of communication that i would have with my students and I know that's a that's a student group who a lot of programs take a real behavioral approach to but I definitely took more of a Glasser choice theory style approach and

Mark Jacobs:

I think first develop a relationship with the child figure out why going on, and then how can we create a scenario in the classroom where that child's needs can be met? Because if I'm acting out, there's a reason, you know, I mean, the board or, you know, I just can't, you know, it's just figuring it out. It's just again, communication, taking the time with that individual child.

Rebecca Hines:

I really recommend anybody go check out William Glasser his website and look at some of his his work a lot of you a lot of listeners, especially if you're in the field of education, her heard of him in your foundations, courses or other but it's always worth going back and taking a look. And to that end, you're talking about communication? And what do you do when when you're working

Mark Jacobs:

I'll just start asking them, you don't have to talk to me, you don't have to do anything. That's the great thing about free will in life, you don't have to ask, but what does that look like? What does you know? What is your plan getting you right now? And is that what you want? And if it's not, then what's your plan on getting? It doesn't have to be my plan your parents plan, but what what's kind of been your pattern that you've seen to be helpful in helping kids reach their goals, each you know, each, you know, each kid is an individual but you see in the beginning, our work was anywhere from like, one to three times a week, depending upon what level you know, if they're like in a crisis mode, where Okay, they're really engaging and some unhealthy behaviors, our work with may have that relationship, it doesn't always have to be a professional, it can be you know, someone else, but just find someone that that person connects to and is willing to open up till.

Lisa Dieker:

Yeah, and you know, Mark, one of your gifts, you know, my, so Mark was the life coach to my to my son, and one of your gifts is my husband. And I jokingly say, you know, I was the one who gave it and he was too hard, which made for a nice relationship. But Josh in the middle, and what you did so nicely, and I think that's what a good life coach does is you were the neutral party. And I

Mark Jacobs:

It's trying to take the emotions out of it. And really just take a look at, okay, if I was giving someone else advice, who wasn't my child? How would I approach it? And what's the wording that I would use? You know, so it's really just what's my goal here, okay, after I get through, I want to choke them to death, I want to help them, I love them, I want to do something for them. And

Rebecca Hines:

You know, I think the emotion part particularly speaks to teachers who find themselves in that spot, because they're not the parent. And they don't necessarily have that unconditional love for that child who is not being very nice. But I will say I, I found myself doing the same thing in the classroom mark, which is to just be honest with the students say, you know what I am so

Mark Jacobs:

I would first thought, you know, asking, are the parents of the, you know, ever use any services? And then I would look online for me, fortunately, I guess for me, unfortunately, full effect is I've never really marketed or advertised, because everything I've always done is just been word of mouth, you know, and it's always kept me, you know, more than busy. But I would start with

Lisa Dieker:

Is there funding available for families that might not have the financial means to do life coaching? Through agencies like through voc rehab, is there a supports to any of the

Mark Jacobs:

guys really a community by community and chain for me personally I try to do about 10 15% a year of my gross and pro bono work. And you know, because it's just some families, the resources aren't there like I work Seminole in Orange County a lot. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of those resources. So I try to make it available as much as I can. But if you look at different

Lisa Dieker:

Yeah, I didn't know if insurance or anything covered it. Well, my last question for you is, as as a life coach, for anyone listening, teachers, parents, you said start with a plan. What's the one other thing that you found that made all the people you've coached the most successful? What's the one trait that you kind of see over and over again, for those who've reached their goals?

Mark Jacobs:

I think the ones who understand you're going to fail at times, you're not always going to be successful. So if it's not working, make the adjustments and get back on track and not just give up. If you give up you're never going to get there. So every plan is not going to work no matter how well it sounds in your head, how how wonderful it looks on the white page, and all that. It

Lisa Dieker:

Well, thank you, Mark. And thanks for it again, from a personal note, but thank you for joining Becky like today and giving some really good advice to teachers, parents, and those are trying to figure out life in general. So thank you again for joining us for practical access. You can send us a twitter at access practical, or you can also post questions to our Facebook page

Mark Jacobs:

Thank you so much for inviting me. I appreciate it.